i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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