Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
