What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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