i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
