no, he came in my armpit
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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