He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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