Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
