I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
