I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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