Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
