You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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