Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
