We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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