what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
