so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize