Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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