theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's shark week go big or go home
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize