He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
