I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
wrigley field is MILF paradise
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
