i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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