a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
