he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
