My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
