Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize