It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
