whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
