where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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