i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
