But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
