How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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