ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If I die, sorry about rent.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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