My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
