I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
