May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
