You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
