is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
