know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
