"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
