i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
