Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
