I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
