I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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