is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
