I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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