Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize