I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
