i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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