How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
