You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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