He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
