the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
