and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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