I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
