And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize