Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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