What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He felt like a one man threesome
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
