Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize