Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dignity is for republicans.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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