Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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