office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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