I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
