He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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