Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
