yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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