she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
