my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
