I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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