i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
