I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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