dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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