Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
