she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
