It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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