Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
