so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
